This question is similar to the half-empty versus half-full glass. It’s a matter of preference. Of viewpoint.

Here am I sitting, thinking about stranded versus free and getting a deadlock. It’s a really tough issue to address.
Glass is easy, it’s always full, really, it has air in it.

Let’s set some ground-rules, life is unpredictable, you never know what will happen next, you can only assume and hope. Like Heraklit once said “Only change constant is”.

You can be hanging on a tree, being part of something bigger, enjoying the community, trying to fit in, maybe even fitting in perfectly and enjoying it. Or you can break of, hit the sea, and see where the waves take you.
The tree may fall down, die of, or get hit by a lightning and burn up, or things can go smoothly and you live this one season, and plant the seeds for the young plants to start their life in the shadows of giants, fighting for little sun, just as this giant you’re hanging of, did.

Breaking of, hitting the sea, you get outcasted by the “big whole” who won’t ever take you back again. Waves will take you to far away places, or those near by, depending on the will of gods of the sea, or mother nature, or whoever you want to call in for help. You get to rot away in the sea or washed out on a sandy beach, or a rocky one. Someone might pick you up and throw you back in, or further away on some fertile ground, or the sand may eat you out. You might be getting a new chance of life. You might start a new great “big whole” of your own on a place where it has never been one if that’s your thing, and share the inheritance of your ancestors, or you can be a lone wolf and travel the seas as long as the lady luck lets you. Whatever you like better.

Those who stay and succeed, keep the forest alive. Those who leave and succeed, make the forest spread and grow beyond anything before imaginable.

You can fail anywhere. Not every seed becomes a tree. If you have to, fail on the trip you like. That way you may not get to your destination, but you’ll like living it.

Stranded or free?

Whatever you want it to be. If you’re at a place where you want to be, you’re free, if you’re not, you’re stranded.

No road guaranties to lead you to satisfaction, take the one that satisfies you on the way.
There is nothing wrong living the way everybody else does if you like it, keep the forest alive!
If that’s not for you, we could use more explorers 😉

This takes your risk away!

So what is it? Stranded or free?

Relax. Free your mind. Accept it. You’re here. And you ought to stay for a while.

Boredom

You might just do something meaningful. Boredom doesn’t like it. Boredom tries to stay away from meaningful.
By all means avoid everything meaningful if you like being bored. Being bored is hard while you do meaningful stuff.

This is the same logic I saw in a Charlie Brown comic a while back on a different subject. It made me smile. Then it made me think. Then it made me change my posture. It was a posture related gig.

Meaningful

Meaningful doesn’t mean the same to me and you. Don’t do stuff I find meaningful. Unless you find them meaningful too. In which case let’s do them together. And I really mean it. 🙂
Apply the same rule to everybody else.

Friends

“Friends are weird. You find some random human and think to yourself ‘Hey, I like this one’, and then you go and do shit together.” – read the fortune cookie. Or was that a digital equivalent to a fortune cookie (yeah, text in an image). Except you can’t eat an image, eh…
When did people stop making choices on the course of their life in the same way they choose their friends?

Simplify

Simplify.
Clutter sucks. Clutter shields your view. Clutter makes you miss things. Obvious things.
Things like there are some friends who you didn’t choose based on the fortune-cookie rule above. But you call them friends anyway. Because they are always here. They are always here because you’re a tool. You’re a tool to them. They use you and abuse you. They are the clutter. Loose them. You’ll have more room for those you like. Simplify.
Apply the same rule to everything else.

Final

Final and probably the most important.
There are places in time or in space where you would like to be. There are also things you like and enjoy doing. And of course there are people who you like to spend your time with.
Life is like dance, it doesn’t consists only of steps you make, but of the motion between those steps. Steps are here just so you know where you are on the dance-floor. Dancing is everything in between.
Let’s make a straight-forward sentence out of this:
Locate the places where you wanna be, things you like doing and friends you wanna keep around, and then find a way to get to that places using means you like doing. Don’t keep track. Improvise.

What steps are you taking?

Your inner child represents your true self.

When you are a child, you don’t have the knowledge about how you should behave. So you do what only comes naturally to you, whatever that may be. And you’re doing what makes you happy and progress (as long as no-one stops you).
As you go along, you learn things. Some things are beneficial for you, some build walls between you and happiness.
From what I see around, life-stopping lessons often outweigh the useful ones or at least break even, so the useful lessons only work for you to make the life-stopping ones bearable.

That’s why people talk about how we should unlearn things. Google gives more than 1M results about the topic.

What’s wrong with this picture?

Except the thing you’re spending your whole life learning NOT to be happy? And then you practice it and think “why am I not happy?“?

Take what you know and apply it to what you know you want.

Make your inner child happy!

That can be extremely hard for most (grown-up) people to do. It makes them change the ways indoctrinated in them and go down the path which is characterized as not-the-way-the-things-are-done. What’s more, everyone around them thinks the same way and there isn’t much support they get. Heck, even the support they seem to get is only formal.
It saddens me to see parents force their will on their children and build walls between their children and children’s happiness. “You gotta get a job… a secure job… so you can live securely… and earn your pension.” “You should become an engineer/lawyer/doctor, there are jobs for those professions.” “I want you to be good at <this activity>, it will get you scholarship/enrolment/good college”

Yes, there is nothing wrong with wanting your kids to be safe, be good at something, be great at something, and be able to live a good life. After all, you know better, you’ve went through it all, you don’t want them to make some bad decisions now and then regret them later. I respect and admire that, truthfully and honestly. That’s perfectly good.

However, it’s not that what I’m talking about. The world is changing. It’s not what it used to be just five years ago (I’m old enough to remember that far, right?) and it certainly isn’t what it was 20 or 30… and you’re still trying to live in it the same way.
Too many people I know (and I know them many) has issues with their parent, trying to live their dream, to please them, instead of living their own. Pursuing a dream is tough enough for anyone, so why force someone to pursue someone else’s?

If you don’t know what your dream is, have a moment with your inner child and listen to it, really listen to it. It will tell you 😉

Then go out of your way (and anyone else’s) to make this dream come true. One other thing, make sure you enjoy the process. Otherwise, your inner child isn’t happy, is it? And you don’t live the dream, do you? 🙂

And parents, it’s not just your inner child you should listen to, it’s your real children. They have dreams too. Their dreams most likely don’t align with your’s. It doesn’t matter. What you really want is for them to be happy, isn’t it? Support them. They will become the best in what they love. They’ll make a living of it. They’ll find their nirvana spot. They’ll make you proud.

If there is one thing you take from this article, make it bold one:

Take what you know and apply it to what you know you want.

 

Now to you. What are you doing to make your inner child happy?

I’m not a flower, yet I’m beautiful.
I have no water or soil, yet I grow.
The wind tears me, yet I bend and live through.
I’m on the ground, yet I’m above everyone else.
I enjoy daily, what most only dream about.

I am different.

I am me.

You deserve it!

Oh, how I’d like to be there right now, chilling in the warm sun, listening to the waves…
Instead, I sit here and write about it. I could have done worse… this way I get to look at the pretty photo on a big screen imagining how it would look like when I print it on canvas and hang it on a wall beside me for a continuous inspiration 😀
Plus, I get to travel down the memory lane and relive good bits and peaces of my trip there.

Where am I going here? I’m not trying to make you jealous, in fact, you may be in such a place right now thinking “Yeah, Zvonimir, I know the feeling… this is exactly what you’re talking about” and I wish you are (send me photos :))!

Chances are you’re not, and I want you to get the glimpse of it and feel it, take a break from the clutter and calm the mind. Put your good shoes on, some bling and sparkle and get ready for the party! 😀
Party on in front of TV, your computer screen, romantic dinner or the plain old dance night!

What are your plans for tonight?

Btw, if you know this place, things might look a bit Alice-In-Wonderland 🙂

It’s when the magic happens!

Just think about it, let’s start with the obvious example of the sunrise in the picture. It’s before 6AM, most people are sleeping and will never witness the awaking of the nature in the early hours before and after the Sun shows it’s beauty on the horizon. And most of those who are awake are half drunk and are getting back home, totally oblivious to the process going on around them.

A cool idea

Have you ever daydreamed you could stop time and move around and do things while everybody else stays still?
Being early is kinda like that. Everyone’s still, does nothing and they have no idea what you’re up to.
Imagine the perks…

But let’s dig deeper

And really explore the idea behind “Before Everyone”.
What would it be worth for you to know something before anyone else does? Lottery numbers? The game outcome? Sex of your unborn child?
Ok, ok, let’s get back from the science fiction realm and see where does this apply in the real life. 🙂

Being before everyone means you get to explore new things before anyone else does, you get to use the information before it goes stale, you get to think unbiased and engage…

You get to experience life without the pressure of anyone telling you how it’s supposed to look like!

Is there anything else you’d like to add? Would you like to be before everyone?

This is not the let’s-list-all-the-things-that-happened post, I won’t make lists here. Let’s wait for the New Year’s eve for that 🙂

Cold days are starting to kick in. Today, frost covered grass and car windshields in the morning. Whether we like it or not, summer is over and autumn is here to stay for a while.

For those of us who don’t like the cold fall is bringing with it, the only way to stay warm in our minds is remembering summer. The sense of sun and water on our (naked) bodies and the scent of sea (if we’ve been there). Half-empty cities with less traffic than usual may be a loving memory for those who didn’t leave for the coast.

Free time, no school, vacations, playground, holidays, bikinis, sand, beaches, boats, cocktails, fun…

That’s what we are remembering here!

Which part of this summer did you like the most?

It’s not over until it’s over!

Fat ladies sing all the time, don’t get caught up in that misconception 😉

It’s not over until you give up. You heard this before and there is some truth in it: If you think you can or can’t, you’re right.

The thing is, you’re in far better position than this tree!

Even though water may be much closer to your throat, your not tied to a place! You can find a better spot!

“But Zvonimir, what if there isn’t higher ground anywhere?” – I hear you ask. Well, SWIM!

These days, you could argue, we already swim most of the time, and waters tend to be stormy and restless.

What now?

All the general advises come down to one simple sentence: Keep your head up and above the surface and you should be fine.

For anything more detailed you’ll have to ask more specific question (comment bellow), we’ll get to that.

I hand you the mic to answer the first question of the and enlighten us.
How do you manage to keep your head above the water?

Viva La Vida

It’s lonely at the top, they say. Few people ever try to get there, so if you’re one of them, you’re half way there. The other half is being persistent.

“The king is dead, long live the king!”

There’s always someone to replace you at the top, be remembered by the heritage you leave behind, not the position you held.

Seems to me, people tend to forget this more often than not. They are trying to get that position, hoping it will make a change in their life, they’ll be the boss, have boss salary, life will be beautiful… And if they eventually get there through whatever means, they keep their position by shooting down on those who wanna climb up. I’m sure you’ve seen this all before.

What’s wrong with this picture?

1. Before getting the position
   While aiming at the position, you’re not satisfied, you don’t have what you believe you need or deserve. Someone who’s already in that position, used to be in position you are now and now shoots down on you trying to defend it.
2. You got the position
   It’s great at first, you finally got it! But now you find yourself in a position everybody wants and paranoia kicks in, you got to hold on “your precious” and you start shooting everybody down. It’s very stressful and you’re not satisfied.
3. You lost the position
   You were once at the top, everything else is just bellow your league, how could you ever settle for less?
   Unless you’ve come to your senses, you’re probably unsatisfied.

Did you get the pattern already?

And the worst thing is… it’s self-sustained!

How do you fix it?

There is nothing wrong with being at the top, in fact it’s a great feeling!

It’s why and how you got there. In short: Don’t take the trip if you don’t enjoy the ride!
Ride takes most of the time anyway.

Do the thing you love and fall head over heels with it, don’t look back. You’ll probably ace it, that will get you on top whether you like it or not! And nobody will be taking you down cause you’ll be high over their radar!

What if they do? What if they take you down?

Nothing, heck, you’re still doing what you like, and you’re great, nothing changes 😉

I’m interested in your thoughts.
How are you getting to the top? Why do you wanna be there?

Will this ever happen again?

Most likely, not.

We make extraordinary effort in life, to experience different situations. “I wanna live”, we say, “You only live once”, etc.

And we do, as far as modern science can prove, that’s what makes every sunset special, every situation unique and every moment worth living. It’s not repeatable! Not a lot of people think “Why would I look at the sunset, I’ve already seen one”. 😛 (I knew only one such person in my lifetime)

And while it’s all great and adventuristic and lively, it produces great instability. And instability, while it’s very interesting and funny and engaging, can make things collapse, dreams crushed and lives whipped away.

To overcome fear when we’re not strong enough to live up to our expectations of “living this life only once and make it worth it”, we search for stability in our own different ways. Because without the stability we can’t (without extra effort) live through extraordinary situations we wanna tell our grandchildren about.

I’m searching for another sunset like this, what about you?

How do you search for stability in life?

How many times have you quit before you even started?

How many times have you dismissed someone or something before you had the chance to know them better?

I’ve been sweeping through my local albums looking for a new image to present you. It was only by chance that I hit the “Open in editor” key on this rather inconspicuous little flower preview.
Developed with just my usual preset, shown in it’s full beauty, left me with a silent Wow…

This isn’t reserved only for images and flowers.
People and ideas only show you a preview of themselves when you first encounter them.
Let yourself open for a while, they just might need a little developing 😉

What’s your story? When was the last time someone positively surprised you?

…is not an ending at all.

Endings leave purposelessness (a lovely word) and emptiness behind. Perfect ending is actually an intriguing and motivating beginning of something beautiful.
Like beginning of a new era after finishing an old one that left all kinds of (good) memories.

We’re ending the day with a sunset bathed scenery, recalling the things we’ve been through, looking ahead into the new exciting tomorrow imagining what kind of new adventures await us behind that corner.
That allows us to peacefully doze off with a plan and inspiration for tomorrow.

That’s what I call the perfect ending!